We toured the city landfill and recycling center. It was riveting. I love homeschooling.
We took these boys on a lunch date to one of our favorite spots, Terri Lynn's. And I even got to visit with my sweet friend while our boys ate.
We capped off the afternoon with some light reading of Harry Potter and Star Wars sticker books.
I took my kiddos plus a few stragglers to the park. I held Vivian's sticky little hand and enjoyed watching my girls run around. I felt like a great mom.
And then, something happened. My man and I had to get all four kids ready for Gramm's piano recital. Clothes were painstakingly ironed. Orders were barked. Perfectionist mommy did not have time to get herself ready.
We finally got in the car to go to the recital. The kids looked perfect on the outside but I know they did not feel great on the inside. I'd rushed and shushed and generally griped us out the door. Ugh. I hate messing up. I hate that I make the same mistakes so many times. I'm recentering, refocusing and trying to trust in Grace. I know He gives it so freely. If I will put down my baggage, let go of my mistakes and rest in Him, I will have peace. I can be free. I don't have to start the day off tomorrow feeling the weight of my mistakes. I will sit down with my kids and apologize to them. I will tell them I messed up and I blew it. And we will have a good day.
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I'm with you friend. A few weeks ago, I apologized to Spencer for losing my patience with him (to put it nicely), and he burst into tears. Precious little mold-able baby. I have to admit, the next thing that flashed across my mind was all the times I DON'T apologize, and how he's just as hurt but required to hold it in, lest he get in more trouble. Grace, it is. And lotsa Spirit. Thanks for this tonight.
ReplyDeleteThx for sharing your experience. What stories will our kids tell on us??
DeleteLove you, HB! You are an amazing mommy, even when you mess up. Your kids are blessed.
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