Sometimes we have really bad days.
Sometimes I'm not proud of myself. Moms, don't we all know when we are not on our A game?
The bad days are not often. Truth be told, they tend to come around once a month if you catch my drift. A couple days ago, I had to apologize to my kids and tell them that I really need Jesus in order to be a good Mommy. They hugged me and listened quietly while I prayed.
After our not-so-good stretch this week, I told my hot hubster through my tears that I don't want to be like Martha and miss the best part of our kid's lives because I'm focused on things.
Quick Martha recap: in Luke chapter 10 (in the Bible, just FYI) Jesus comes to visit Mary and Martha. Apparently, Martha was working her hiney off and Mary was sitting on hers' listening to Jesus teach. Martha goes to tattle on Mary and Jesus says this:
"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10: 41, 42
I want to sit at Jesus' feet, like Mary, and let Him teach me. It's hard to let him teach me when I let (dumb, stupid, insignificant) things upset me and set the tone for our family. I want to enjoy my children. I want to have more tea parties, more walks around our 'hood, more time reading books on the couch. I want to be less stressed about the state of my house, the laundry, the dad-blamed dinner, and the 10,000 other things in my life. I want to enjoy my people. I want to choose the good portion!
Some practical steps I've taken in order to choose the good portion:
- daily God time. Right now, this is in the morning on weekdays.
- pray for God to show me warning signs when I'm nearing the end of my rope.
- limit phone time. I love my peops, but my kids need me to be totally present and I can't do that and be on the phone. Maybe someday I will figure that out.
- I try to spend as little time in the kitchen as possible. I love cooking nourishing food for my family, so I do a lot of our dinners in batches with my bestie, Julie. Read about those adventures here. This helps me immensely. I even bought bread this week instead of making it. 80/20 y'all.
- stop with the dang guilt already! I let guilt drive me all too often.
- steer clear of Facebook (i.e. the great time waster).
- get kids to help me with housework. Try to do a little housework daily instead of hours on big projects, etc.
- chill out for pete's sake and quit being a grump-butt all the time.
- gratitude journaling. Quick, simple, one-liners listing what I'm thankful for at that moment. One Thousand Gifts has changed my life. Read it, y'all.
I am not an expert and have virtually nothing figured out. All I know is that I cannot be a good parent on my own. I just can't do it. I need God every single step of the way. I mostly post sweet memories and flattering pics on this blog, but I think it's important to post on the not-so-great days and dispel any pretense that there is constantly a rainbow over my house with the pot of gold at the back door. Here's to choosing the good portion. Look at that sweet face!