The View From Here

I took the above picture while lying on the couch, recovering from a horrible stomach bug. In the foreground, a cup of broth (thanks Julie) and a cup of water. Broth really is the breakfast of champions. 

Last Wednesday night, I loaded up our kiddos to go to AWANA while Justin stayed home to put our little baby boo to bed. I had a fabulous mommy date planned for while the kids were at AWANA and I couldn't wait for some grown up convo with one of my dearest friends. Before I'd even arrived at the church building, I knew I was sick. Chills, nausea, the whole bit....I took the kiddos to their classes and got home as quickly as I could, cancelling my Mommy date on the way. :(

As soon as I got home, the fun started. I was ill. Before long, Justin brought the kids home from AWANA and got them in bed. Then he starts feeling bad and begins to get sick. We both get in bed, knowing we are in for a long night with our new pal, the stomach bug. At about 10:30, we hear the twins crying. I knew it was the throw-up cry. Trust me, they have a certain cry. It's awful. Both girls were sick...simultaneously. We bathed them, got them ready to go back to bed on clean sheets and within minutes they were both getting sick again. It was midnight by this time, Justin and I were both still very sick and we didn't know what to do. In a desperate moment, I called Justin's mom. She had to work the next day, but came anyway. We all thought the girls would feel better and go to sleep within a couple hours. From about midnight until four a.m., the twins were sick every thirty minutes. They were lying on our (well protected) couch and Brooklyn told me later that my mother-in-law slept on the floor next to them. Everytime Vivi would get sick, I would hear her crying for me and saying, "Mama. I want Mama. Where's my Mommy?" And, Justin's mom would calm her down, clean her up and try to get her back to sleep. I remember lying in bed thinking I could go sit on the couch with her, but I felt like I was too weak to even walk to the living room. At some point during all this, Gramm woke up and began throwing up too. The little guy is a trooper. He is no stranger to stomach issues, so the stomach bug did not phase him one bit. Bless his heart!

Around 4 in the morning, I finally drifted off to sleep and realized that the worst of it was over for me. My mother-in-law left at 5 to go get ready for work and to stop by Kroger to get us popsicles and coconut water. She had stayed up all night taking care of our very sick kiddos. I was amazed by her sacrifice. Not only did she miss a full night's sleep before going to teach preschool all day the next day, she exposed herself to the horrible, nasty, no good stomach bug while lovingly caring for my babies. I have always been thankful for her and I am even more thankful now. And, I am so very thankful for good health and the ability to care for my children.

We are all on the mend now and our little baby boo has yet to get the bug.  Never before have I seen our entire crew (minus the babe) come down with the same sickness so quickly. I don't know what we would have done without my mother-in-law. She inspires me to lay down my life for my children and to give joyfully. And, please join me in praying that she doesn't get sick. ;) Seriously.

Processing life as a Foster Mom

This scripture has been on my mind today:

"She extends her hands to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy." Proverbs 31:20

Many times a day, our sweet foster son walks toward me, arms outstretched, needing to be held. I pick him up, hold him and usually let him decide when he is ready to be put down. There are times when I need to put him down before he is ready, so I'll say, "I'm going to put you down now, but I'll be right here." Sometimes he toddles off and plays and sometimes he'll just sit down and cry. If he cries, I usually pick him up or Gramm will pick him up and bring him to me. This little guy needs lots of love and he needs me to be his Mommy....but not forever.

Nothing could have prepared me for bonding with a child and knowing all the while that he is not mine, he will not ever be mine and that someday, he will leave our home. J and I both thought we were aware of all that we signed up for in becoming foster parents. In theory, it's so noble and yadayadayada, but in reality, it's just a little crazy. Foster care does not make sense, but it's what we feel lead to do and we'll keep doing it. God has given us the grace for each second and I know His grace will not run out with me and my needy self.

Please pray for our family as we venture down this new road. We rely on and rest in the sovereignty of God each step of the way. Love to all.

And (foster) baby makes 6

About two years ago, we began the process to become foster parents and adoptive parents through the state of Arkansas. Our plans were put on hold for several months. You can read about that here. About three months ago, we began updating our paperwork, CPR and First Aid certifications, physicals, etc. We finally got everything together and were officially open in November.

We received a call about a little boy that needed a temporary home. Could we care for him? Did we have space? Yes. Yes. He is here. We love him already. We expected to foster an infant. This little one is not exactly an infant, but he is still younger than our three big kids. So far, life with four kids is busy, loud and wonderful. God has held my nerves together and my patience mostly intact. ;) We have been blessed with a kind and caring caseworker.

We do not know exactly how long we will have this child. We do not know what his life was like before he came to us. We do not even know his middle name. But, we do know that his life is precious. He was created in the image of God and he is remarkable. We know that he needs us. We know that this boy's mark will forever be on our hearts. He reaches for me, his face lights up when he sees Gramm, he lets Vivi and Brook hug and kiss him often, and he lurves my man.

Please pray for us as we all adjust to this change in our lives. Please pray for me to take this process a day at a time and not obsess and worry about the day that he will leave us. We signed up for this. We are the middle family for this little one in transition. God is sustaining us and He will continue to lavish His grace upon us.

Thanks to so many of you who encouraged us to not lose hope and to keep praying for the foster child(ren) we would someday have. We did not lose hope and God has answered our prayers so sweetly. Love to you all.

I like to cook

So, I cook a lot. I love it. It makes me happy. It makes my kids happy, too. Left to right, Vivi, Gramm and Brook chowing down on some homemade granola bars. I recently discovered a totally delish granola bar recipe here. My adaptation:

Chewy Granola Bars

Combine in a large bowl:

1/2 cup muscavado sugar, or other brown sugar (sucanat, etc.)

2/3 cup peanut butter

1/2 cup honey

1/2 cup melted coconut oil or butter

2 teaspoons vanilla

Then add:

3 cups whole rolled oats

1/2 cup shredded coconut

1/2 cup raisins

1/3 cup wheat flour

1 cup chocolate chips

Stir well and then press into a greased sheet pan. I use a large stainless steel bar pan. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes. Cut the bars while they are warm, but wait about 10 minutes before removing them from the pan. If you let the bars cool completely, they will not come out of the pan well and it will be a big mess. I store them individually wrapped or in a 9x13 pan with wax paper between the layers of bars.

My family absolutely loves the granola bars. My hubby and son have really missed store-bought granola bars. This recipe has been wonderful because it's filling, fairly cheap and I can actually pronounce every single ingredient. Holla!

I occasionally feel a baking frenzy coming on and just cannot stop myself. So, I baked two pies. One for my hubby and one for a brotha who has iphone fixing skillz. My hubby got the coconut cream pie and our friend received the creamy lemon meringue pie. The kiddos saw me photographing the pies and each child had to have their pic taken with me and the pies. It was so classic. Look:

Brooklyn cheesin' it up:
Vivian just trying to get to that pie! See her little hand poised and ready to stick her finger in the meringue?

Inquiring minds may want to know: pie filling recipes: from Justin's Nana. She's a madwoman in the kitchen and puts me to shame even on my best Julia-Child-channeling days. The meringue: extra egg whites, baby, from farm fresh eggs. The crust: 1/2 butter and 1/2 lard rendered from a locally raised (and locally killt), grass-stomping, happy, healthy piggle.

Let me know if any of you precious few try the granola bar recipe. Over and out. :)

The Good Portion

Sometimes we have really bad days.

Sometimes I'm not proud of myself. Moms, don't we all know when we are not on our A game?

The bad days are not often. Truth be told, they tend to come around once a month if you catch my drift. A couple days ago, I had to apologize to my kids and tell them that I really need Jesus in order to be a good Mommy. They hugged me and listened quietly while I prayed.

After our not-so-good stretch this week, I told my hot hubster through my tears that I don't want to be like Martha and miss the best part of our kid's lives because I'm focused on things.

Quick Martha recap: in Luke chapter 10 (in the Bible, just FYI) Jesus comes to visit Mary and Martha. Apparently, Martha was working her hiney off and Mary was sitting on hers' listening to Jesus teach. Martha goes to tattle on Mary and Jesus says this:

"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10: 41, 42

I want to sit at Jesus' feet, like Mary, and let Him teach me. It's hard to let him teach me when I let (dumb, stupid, insignificant) things upset me and set the tone for our family. I want to enjoy my children. I want to have more tea parties, more walks around our 'hood, more time reading books on the couch. I want to be less stressed about the state of my house, the laundry, the dad-blamed dinner, and the 10,000 other things in my life. I want to enjoy my people. I want to choose the good portion!

Some practical steps I've taken in order to choose the good portion:

• daily God time. Right now, this is in the morning on weekdays.
• pray for God to show me warning signs when I'm nearing the end of my rope.
• limit phone time. I love my peops, but my kids need me to be totally present and I can't do that and be on the phone. Maybe someday I will figure that out.
• I try to spend as little time in the kitchen as possible. I love cooking nourishing food for my family, so I do a lot of our dinners in batches with my bestie, Julie. Read about those adventures here. This helps me immensely. I even bought bread this week instead of making it. 80/20 y'all.
• stop with the dang guilt already! I let guilt drive me all too often.
• steer clear of Facebook (i.e. the great time waster).
• get kids to help me with housework. Try to do a little housework daily instead of hours on big projects, etc.
• chill out for pete's sake and quit being a grump-butt all the time.
• gratitude journaling. Quick, simple, one-liners listing what I'm thankful for at that moment. One Thousand Gifts has changed my life. Read it, y'all.

I am not an expert and have virtually nothing figured out. All I know is that I cannot be a good parent on my own. I just can't do it. I need God every single step of the way. I mostly post sweet memories and flattering pics on this blog, but I think it's important to post on the not-so-great days and dispel any pretense that there is constantly a rainbow over my house with the pot of gold at the back door. Here's to choosing the good portion. Look at that sweet face!

Look What We've Been Doing

We've had some fun gathering a few fruits from our garden. Gramm is cutting up a tiny, but tasty canteloupe.

Sweet VivianBrooklyn
And we sliced our watermelon open with high hopes....it wasn't ready, but the girls were! They ate almost the whole thing. :)

We've experimented with sponge rollers. My hubby says the rollers in my hair "aged me significantly". Anyone remember Mama's Family? I was channeling my inner Mama. (Brook on left)

Beautiful ViviI love Brooklyn's smile here. She has the most precious little chicklet teeth. And, my hair was very 80's pageant queen reminiscent. I wore it in a ponytail all day. We've had some great tea parties and one very memorable one with Nana in her backyard. Vivi on left. Nana made the girls hibiscus tea and brought out this tray with cheese and triscuits, yogurt and even a tea towel. The girls LOVED it. Nana and I had a really good time, too. :) Some of our best memories have been made at my Nana and Grandpa's house.
Brooklyn chillin' after a little tea. Please note that both girls have yogurt dried on their little faces. :)

Nana and the girls at the park.

Me and my sweet gals. Love them. Brooklyn on left.

I mentioned in my post on New Year's Resolutions that we are trying to pay off our house. Slowly, but surely, we've been paying on the principal for the past 10 months. It's going to be at the very least a couple more years, but we are enjoying the challenge. I made a mortgage loan thermometer and Gramm gets to fill it in at the end of every month. My sweet man suggested that we may have started coloring at the wrong end of the thermometer! Oh well! Here's to loving things that aren't perfect. :)

That's all peops. What have you and your crew been up to?

Making it work, part 3--When your Babydad is out of Town

I started a "Making It Work" series months ago. Part 1, Breakfast with the Bertmans, which is mostly about quick devotionals with my babes, is here. Part 2, Giving Your Man the Night Off, is here.

My husband travels for work a few times a year. I am a big baby and hate to stay by myself. In the past, when he's traveled I've had friends sleep over with me or I've spent a few days with my wonderful Nana and Grandpa who love on us and help me with the kiddos.

During Justin's last trip, I tried something different. He was gone about six days and I only spent one or two of those days with my grandparents. The rest of the time, I braved it at home, with or without a bible under my pillow to ward off anything skeery. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by every single task that needed to be done, I just did them. I tried my best to stay calm and be nice to the kids no matter how I felt. When Justin came home, he was pleasantly surprised by a happy wife, orderly home and non-traumatized children. ;)

A few things that helped me while J was away:

• I tried to get all my work done before the kids went to bed. As soon as the kids were in bed, I either relaxed with a book or a movie or I had a friend over for coffee. I am a HUGE extrovert, so some adult time was really great for me. If you are an introvert, I would recommend planning down time.
• I ran a very tight ship where discipline was concerned. I knew that if I started letting things slide, the kids would go nuts and misbehave a lot.
• I did not cook dinner. I made a big batch of tomato basil soup (read: chick food) before J left. We ate that, pb&j, sushi from Kroger, etc. The kids still had nutritious meals, but they were very simple.
• I made sure that I was recharging spiritually by praying and reading the Word when I could. Praying for Justin while we are apart really brings me peace and protection from fear.
• I went to bed early so that I would be well rested and ready for the day ahead.
• I did not try to get any projects done. My "project" was taking care of the kids and keeping the house from falling down around us. :)
• I dressed to shoes and wore make up most days. This helps me immensely on any given day.

If any of you have traveling husbands, I hope that these tips help you while your man is away.