The Twins are 4!

Brooklyn on left, Vivian on right 

 I am still in shock that my sweet girls are four years old. We spent all day Friday celebrating. The girls requested eggs and bacon for breakfast, chick-fil-a for lunch and macaroni and cheese for dinner. They asked for "pink icing" on their cake so I made them a strawberry cake with strawberry cream cheese icing. It was divine. We had a great day. We had a quick trip to the zoo in the morning and a nice night at home as a family. I have loved the simplicity of this non-birthday-party birthday. I enjoyed my girls and they had a great time just being home with our crew. We still have JJ (can't post pics of him on the internet) and they loved getting to spend their birthday with him. I am thankful for their laughter, raspy voices and the blessing of their relationship with each other. These girls can definitely fight, but they really, really love each other. And we love them. :) 

fun on the carousel

Vivian on left, Brooklyn center, Gramm right

Blowing out their candle...Gramm used this same candle on his 4th birthday

Singing Happy Birthday to themselves! :) 

Quick Update

We still have our precious foster son, JJ. We thought he'd be leaving us fairly soon, but it appears as though he may be here for some time. We are fine with that because we lurve him to pieces. It has been hard to see him just totally melding into our routines and becoming part of our crew knowing that he will not stay with us permanently. DHS' plan has never been for him to stay with us long term, but not many things happen quickly when it comes to foster care. Wish I could post a pic of his cuteness.

Vivi on left, Brook on right

Vivian and Brooklyn are as busy as ever. They love JJ, preschool, and pink. Some funny quotes: one of the Valentine's given to us from Brooklyn said, "I love my mommy and daddy because they let me have candy." Seriously? Is candy her love language? Vivian's Valentine said, "I love my mommy and daddy because they are special." Oh. My heart. Melted. Vivian will lean over to me and say, "I love you very much. You are special, Mommy." Brooklyn has begun talking out the side of her mouth and it is HI-larious.

On a super fun date with mom and dad 

Gramm has transitioned into the most eager to please, loving, happy, but still rough and tumble boy. I honestly never thought we would get here. He is so caring and truly loves other people. He recently told me that he wants to give his allowance away to kids in Haiti who lost their things in the earthquakes. He is my doll baby and told me today that he has had his eye on three girls as potential wives (monogamously, of course). Watch out, people, because he is cute and charming. 

19 Years Ago Today

Today marks the 19th anniversary of the day that I decided to follow Jesus. I was 12 years old. I am filled with thankfulness for God's continued outpouring of grace in my life. Over breakfast this morning, I was telling the kids why today is special for me. I could tell Gramm was thinking about all this and he said, "Well, I have Jesus in my heart, he lives in everyone's heart." In my own random way, I briefly explained that Jesus lives in our heart if we follow Him . Then, my precious six and half year old looks at me, with plastic pirate sword in hand, and says, "I want to pray to follow Jesus." And, right there at the bar with bowls of granola on all sides, Gramm prayed to follow Jesus all of his days. It was sweet and simple and I will never forget it. Gramm is still very young for such a commitment, but he was nonetheless sincere. I've told him repeatedly to "not let anyone look down on him because he is young, but to be an example for the believers" (1 Timothy 4:12).



In other news, someone in our crew has been sick since the day we got our foster son almost 2 months ago. So, we are laying low and trying to eat nourishing foods and lurve each other without going nuts. Above is a great snapshot of our day: Vivi-tiv playing with play dough (not the knife on the knife magnet, mind you), Five loaves of soaked whole wheat bread cooling on the counter, crockpot cooking us a yummy pork roast from Cove Creek Acres, a huge stack of recipes just crying out "ORGANIZE ME, WOMAN! WHAT ELSE YOU GOT TO DO?", and a thermometer so I can monitor little JJ's recently fevered body. Today has been crazy, but it is so good. I have a three year old sucking her thumb, throwing her leg across my body and saying repeatedly, "I wanna sit on your lap." Gotta go.

Racism

“The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: 'If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?' But...the good Samaritan reversed the question: 'If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?” 
― Martin Luther King Jr.

I stumbled upon the above quote in October of last year. As I read it, I was convicted about  my selfish attitude toward foster care. Before our home was officially open for foster care, I would often struggle with thoughts of this nature: Will my biological children be neglected because of my foster child? Will I be able to effectively homeschool our children while caring for a foster child? Is it really worth risking the peace in our home by bringing in a child from a less than ideal situation? Do I really want to take care of someone else's child for who knows how long? 

The Lord used the above quote to remind me that foster care is not about me and my desires. Foster care is ultimately about glorifying God with my life. I have this one precious life and I don't want to waste it. I want to be a conduit of God's overflowing, miracle working, heart changing grace. Foster care is about showing the love of Christ to children who need a home. Instead of asking, "What will happen to me if I become a foster parent?" I began asking, "What will happen to these precious little ones that we could have in our home if I don't welcome them with open arms?"

Several days ago, the kids and I took JJ (our foster son) to the DHS office for a family visit. I had all four kiddos with me. The twins and Gramm were clustered around me and I was holding the baby on my hip. There were about 10 people in the lobby of the office.  My three biological children and I were the only white people in the lobby.  I didn't even take note of this until I heard an African American man sitting about 3 feet behind me making racist comments about "white people". I can be a little clueless at times and this was one of those moments. It wasn't until we left the room that I began wondering if those comments were directed at me. I am thankful for the distraction of my children. If they had not all been with me, I wonder if I would have responded. 

I have reflected on this situation quite a bit. I was honestly not offended by this man's unkindness because I know his words are not true. I am not defined by the color of my skin. But, I also realized that it's easy for me to deflect these comments because this was the first time in my thirty-one years of life to experience racism first-hand.  I cannot imagine how very different my life would be if I had to face prejudice or racism on a regular basis. I am thankful that I have been shielded from this type of treatment. I have had to ask myself if I judge others based on appearances. I know that I have been guilty of this at times. 

I pray that God will work in my heart to teach my children to be open and loving toward all types of people. My kiddos will learn this way of living if they see it in me. Lord, please make me more like You. Give me Your eyes to see those around me. 

The View From Here

I took the above picture while lying on the couch, recovering from a horrible stomach bug. In the foreground, a cup of broth (thanks Julie) and a cup of water. Broth really is the breakfast of champions. 

Last Wednesday night, I loaded up our kiddos to go to AWANA while Justin stayed home to put our little baby boo to bed. I had a fabulous mommy date planned for while the kids were at AWANA and I couldn't wait for some grown up convo with one of my dearest friends. Before I'd even arrived at the church building, I knew I was sick. Chills, nausea, the whole bit....I took the kiddos to their classes and got home as quickly as I could, cancelling my Mommy date on the way. :(

As soon as I got home, the fun started. I was ill. Before long, Justin brought the kids home from AWANA and got them in bed. Then he starts feeling bad and begins to get sick. We both get in bed, knowing we are in for a long night with our new pal, the stomach bug. At about 10:30, we hear the twins crying. I knew it was the throw-up cry. Trust me, they have a certain cry. It's awful. Both girls were sick...simultaneously. We bathed them, got them ready to go back to bed on clean sheets and within minutes they were both getting sick again. It was midnight by this time, Justin and I were both still very sick and we didn't know what to do. In a desperate moment, I called Justin's mom. She had to work the next day, but came anyway. We all thought the girls would feel better and go to sleep within a couple hours. From about midnight until four a.m., the twins were sick every thirty minutes. They were lying on our (well protected) couch and Brooklyn told me later that my mother-in-law slept on the floor next to them. Everytime Vivi would get sick, I would hear her crying for me and saying, "Mama. I want Mama. Where's my Mommy?" And, Justin's mom would calm her down, clean her up and try to get her back to sleep. I remember lying in bed thinking I could go sit on the couch with her, but I felt like I was too weak to even walk to the living room. At some point during all this, Gramm woke up and began throwing up too. The little guy is a trooper. He is no stranger to stomach issues, so the stomach bug did not phase him one bit. Bless his heart!

Around 4 in the morning, I finally drifted off to sleep and realized that the worst of it was over for me. My mother-in-law left at 5 to go get ready for work and to stop by Kroger to get us popsicles and coconut water. She had stayed up all night taking care of our very sick kiddos. I was amazed by her sacrifice. Not only did she miss a full night's sleep before going to teach preschool all day the next day, she exposed herself to the horrible, nasty, no good stomach bug while lovingly caring for my babies. I have always been thankful for her and I am even more thankful now. And, I am so very thankful for good health and the ability to care for my children.

We are all on the mend now and our little baby boo has yet to get the bug.  Never before have I seen our entire crew (minus the babe) come down with the same sickness so quickly. I don't know what we would have done without my mother-in-law. She inspires me to lay down my life for my children and to give joyfully. And, please join me in praying that she doesn't get sick. ;) Seriously.

Processing life as a Foster Mom

This scripture has been on my mind today:

"She extends her hands to the poor. Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy." Proverbs 31:20

Many times a day, our sweet foster son walks toward me, arms outstretched, needing to be held. I pick him up, hold him and usually let him decide when he is ready to be put down. There are times when I need to put him down before he is ready, so I'll say, "I'm going to put you down now, but I'll be right here." Sometimes he toddles off and plays and sometimes he'll just sit down and cry. If he cries, I usually pick him up or Gramm will pick him up and bring him to me. This little guy needs lots of love and he needs me to be his Mommy....but not forever.

Nothing could have prepared me for bonding with a child and knowing all the while that he is not mine, he will not ever be mine and that someday, he will leave our home. J and I both thought we were aware of all that we signed up for in becoming foster parents. In theory, it's so noble and yadayadayada, but in reality, it's just a little crazy. Foster care does not make sense, but it's what we feel lead to do and we'll keep doing it. God has given us the grace for each second and I know His grace will not run out with me and my needy self.

Please pray for our family as we venture down this new road. We rely on and rest in the sovereignty of God each step of the way. Love to all.

And (foster) baby makes 6

About two years ago, we began the process to become foster parents and adoptive parents through the state of Arkansas. Our plans were put on hold for several months. You can read about that here. About three months ago, we began updating our paperwork, CPR and First Aid certifications, physicals, etc. We finally got everything together and were officially open in November.

We received a call about a little boy that needed a temporary home. Could we care for him? Did we have space? Yes. Yes. He is here. We love him already. We expected to foster an infant. This little one is not exactly an infant, but he is still younger than our three big kids. So far, life with four kids is busy, loud and wonderful. God has held my nerves together and my patience mostly intact. ;) We have been blessed with a kind and caring caseworker.

We do not know exactly how long we will have this child. We do not know what his life was like before he came to us. We do not even know his middle name. But, we do know that his life is precious. He was created in the image of God and he is remarkable. We know that he needs us. We know that this boy's mark will forever be on our hearts. He reaches for me, his face lights up when he sees Gramm, he lets Vivi and Brook hug and kiss him often, and he lurves my man.

Please pray for us as we all adjust to this change in our lives. Please pray for me to take this process a day at a time and not obsess and worry about the day that he will leave us. We signed up for this. We are the middle family for this little one in transition. God is sustaining us and He will continue to lavish His grace upon us.

Thanks to so many of you who encouraged us to not lose hope and to keep praying for the foster child(ren) we would someday have. We did not lose hope and God has answered our prayers so sweetly. Love to you all.