Mothers Day to my Mom and my Other Mothers

Happy Mothers Day to my precious Mom. I know so many things about you:

• You will always love me no matter what. 
• You will always, always open your arms to any child we welcome into our home, be it a foster child, a child we hope to adopt or baby I birthed the old fashioned way. 
• You think I'm funny even when I make you mad....like on that youth trip when I kept singing and laughing with my friends till the wee hours of the morning and I told you to "stick tampons in your ears" to drown out the noise. I was such a sweet, compliant child. 
• You enjoyed every stage my sisters and I went through the best you could and lived to tell about it. 
• You made hard sacrifices for us so many times. 
• You always smell good and you love perfume. 
• Diet Coke is your love language.
• My children adore you. 
• You have never, ever said one negative thing about my husband in the almost 13 years that I've been his main squeeze. 
• You are a really good listener. 
• You HATE cats. 
• You have more scripture in your head than most seminary graduates. 
• You gave me the best back scratches during church. 
• You are an amazing seamstress and sew the most beautiful dresses, curtains and fun little girly things like baby doll beds that make my girls feel so loved. 
• You have spoiled me with your good cooking and no one else can compare, including my own cooking. 
• You will still make me a special dessert on my birthday or other times when I lay it on thick. 
• You are so loved by me, my sisters and all of our babies, and definitely by Gramps. 

I love you, Mom!! Thanks for being the best Mom to me, Rachel, Andrea and Sharla and thanks for never telling them our secret....I know I'm your favorite. xoxoxo

Not only do I have a wonderful mother, I also have an amazing mother-in-law. She has loved and accepted me from day one. She has helped me understand my husband better. She gives the absolute best parenting advice and is so good to love my children intentionally. I love you, Janet! You bless our lives very much! 

Kelly, thank you for loving my dad and embracing our crazy crew. You are such a sweet Mimi to my babies and we all love you dearly! I am so thankful for you! 

 And, happy Mother's day to my sweet, fun, always energetic and up for a good time Nana. I love coming to your house. I love that I can always relax there and that you and Grandpa always want to know what is going on with me and my crew. You are both the picture of unconditional love and selflessness. You and Grandpa are one of God's biggest, most abundant blessings in my life. I love you both dearly.

 This is my first Mother's Day without my Mimi, my dad's mom. She wrote me many sweet cards over the years and it was a joy to be loved by her. She loved my children and she was always happy to hear from me and very quick to tell me that she loved me.

No Mother's Day for me would be complete without a quick shout out to the many other-Mothers in my life. I have been blessed abundantly with a few very patient and selfless women over the years who have loved me so well. 

Chris (the total bombshell in the blue sweater), I can barely even type about you without tears in my eyes. Oh, the love you have poured on me in the past 20 years. I cannot imagine my life without you. Thank you for being my mom's life long best friend. Thank you for loving all of us Alford girls with all your heart. When I see that you have called, emailed or texted me, my love tank immediately starts to refill. You are such an amazing listener, you truly care about me and always have. I love you dearly and I promise I will take care of you and my Ma when you are both old and senile. :) Maybe by then, I can get diet coke for  you both via IV? 

Debi, for so many years you have welcomed me into your home and life. And, as you know, I don't knock. Thank you for making me laugh and for always encouraging me to be myself. I still have the mirror you gave me at my high school graduation. You wrote on the mirror, "What does God see today?" You have always had so much wisdom and you still do. Thank you for always talking to me like an adult and not treating me like an annoying kid. When I met some of your sweet grand-friends recently, they asked me, "how do you know Gordon and Debi?" and I said, "Oh, they're just my parents." I love you both so much. 

Wynter, Your sweet presence in my life has always been a blessing to me. I have great memories of nights spent at your house. I love that you were not afraid of being honest about life in general and I love that you freely welcomed and included Sharla and I in your life and your family. I love you!

Kimberly Ann Simmons, I love this pic of me and your sweet baby boy. You still, to this day, make me laugh harder than almost any other person. I love your personality! Not only are you lots of fun, but you are funny! I am so glad that I got to be a part of your life and watch you Rodney fall in love and finally get married! You two are definitely two of my favorite people. Thank you for loving me and always making me smile. And, thanks for making me the most delicious dessert when I was so sick and pregnant with the twins. It was one of the only things I enjoyed eating during those crazy months. You are truly a treasure.

 Beth, my precious friend. The Lord put you in my life at just the right time. I have learned so much from you as a parent. I am thankful that I got to watch you parent your kiddos during their teen years. You really enjoy your kids and I have taken so many things that I saw in you and have done them with my babies. You are an amazing listener and friend. Thank you for listening to me to talk for hours and for always letting me invade your house. And, thank you for always encouraging us to adopt. You were there when all this started! I love you!

Tam, This pic of two of your girls with my girls melts my heart. I do not know how I would have made it through the last three years without your wisdom and availability to take my call at a moment's notice. You are an amazing mother and I am so thankful for your heart to parent with Christ at the center. Thank you, thank you, thank you for making time for me in your already full schedule. You are a woman after His heart and you have spurred me on many times. As I've said before, I am totally the president of your fan club. I love you! xoxoxo

Gayelynne, These girls love you and so do I! Thank you for letting me weezle my way into your life and your family. Thank you for taking me on countless lunch dates and making me feel special and loved. You are an amazing mama and nona. I am blessed to be one among the many who love Mama Craig.

There are a couple other ladies I don't have pictures of who have been second mamas to me over the years: Vicki Marshall, Mrs.Magee and Mary Lee. If you are reading this, I love each of you and am thankful for your presence in my life. And, Vicki, thanks for not kicking me out of your house multiple times. I know you wanted to.

Happy Mothers Day, friends! I hope you all feel loved today. I hope each of you know that being the best Mama to our own babes is so important, but I want to impress upon each of you to nurture relationships you have time for with other little ladies who seek you out. You never know the impact you will have on them. Love to all.

Our Last Baby

Many thoughts have been swirling through my mind in the last few weeks. The thought that has been pressing itself out the most is, "He's your last one. Drink him up. Enjoy this baby." We finalize our baby boy's adoption in less than a month and then I will bombard this blog with pictures of his beautiful face. For now, I am loving watching his little body crawling all over our house. He pulls himself up on the coffee table and carefully reaches for the couch. He crawls to me and claps his hands, meets my eyes and smiles because he is so happy. I ask him for a kiss and he leans forward and gives me a sweet, slobbery kiss.

Having this baby around has shown me how big my older babies really are now. Sad, sad, sad!!! The pictures below are about two years old. Time continues to pass and my kids continue to grow. I know that the stages they are all in do not last forever and I am trying to stop doing the dad blamed laundry long enough to see each one of them and really enjoy them. If you got babies, go squeeze 'em. Good night.

My Ma's Apple Pie and Etc.

I was blessed with a mommy date with my boo, Julie. We went to one of our fave places, The Root Cafe. We both ordered The Root Benny which is two poached eggs served over bed of seasonal greens with Falling Sky ham and topped with our own hollandaise. It was divine. I made my own version at home and lurved it. I sauteed greens from Kellogg Valley Farms in bacon grease (don't hate), topped them with mozzarella cheese, green onions (also from KVF), cherry tomatoes and a poached farm fresh egg. So easy, so filling and so good. And, Julia Child taught me how to poach eggs. 


Friday night, my man and I had a dinner date at home. My man loves bread. I didn't have much time and I found this recipe for quick, no fail, french bread. Try it, y'all!! Takes a teensy bit more than an hour. Another thing my man loves is apple pie. His favorite apple pie is my mom's recipe so I made it for him tonight.

I remember my mom making this apple for my dad when I was a kid. My parents are divorced and they aren't exactly besties. Nonetheless, I have good memories of my mom making this pie for my dad. And, my dad and step-mom got me the wonderful pie plate for Christmas. And, my ma's recipe for all you peops who love to cook up something good, straight out of the old school Mt.Carmel Baptist Church Cookbook. 

Picnic Birthday Party for my Five Year Olds

 Everyone loves to get dressed up for a party, including big brother right? We started the celebration off  in the backyard with the bubble machine and my niece, Livi. 

 We read a quick little birthday book. 

We did a super fun and simple craft. I do believe that Brook and Vivi are happiest while doing crafts.

 Each child had his or her own picnic basket filled with fruit, ham and cheese roll ups, popcorn, a juice box and some fun party favors. 

 The weather was beautiful and the girls loved sitting on the quilt, eating their lunches and checking out all their new goodies. 

 The girls requested lemon cake with strawberry (i.e. PINK) icing. 

 And, a party's not a party unless you crank up the kindermusic and dance!! 

 We were showered with lots of wonderful, fun gifts. 

 Justin and I gave the girls these Hello Kitty bags filled with play lip gloss, fake nails, etc. They have been wanting these for about a year. Oh, the joy on their faces while holding those bags!

 We finished up the party by eating every last bit of fruit and enjoying the beautiful day. 

I absolutely loved this party. We kept it simple and really tried to do things we knew the girls would enjoy. While I had grandiose, pinterest-esque visions of table decor and other awesome yet time consuming things, none of that happened. What happened was a mama of four little ones loving her girls and giving them the time of their little lives at home with their cousins and brothers. And it rocked.  

My Girls Are 5!

Since my girls were born, I have sworn that for their fifth birthday, I was going to go all out and throw a big party to celebrate the fact that my man and I made it through the first five years with twins. It was going to be a party for me! I mean, I'd have earned it by five years, right?!

The first two years of their lives were a blur of sleepless nights, double diapers, and living life with our toddler son who struggled almost constantly with stomach pain and reflux. There was great joy in those first two years. Vivian and Brooklyn were extremely laid back and flexible little babes. I was able to enjoy an extended nursing relationship with both of them and I bonded so deeply and easily with each of them. I enjoyed them very, very much. I would hold and rock them and tears would come to my eyes because I was so happy to have these girls. I could sit and stare at them for hours. I loved just sitting in the floor and watching them crawl and play and just generally be adorable.

First Birthday, V with headband over her eyes.

Then, they turned two. We walked through a very dark, very painful crisis in our extended family that began about a month before their birthday. I nearly lost my mind. I was depressed. My easy babes had turned into normal two year olds who were throwing fits and testing limits. In addition to these new behaviors, they began to feed off of one another. For example, I'd say no to one girl, and the other girl immediately did what I'd just told sister not to do. Then, I'd relive that scenario 100 times daily. And, the fighting. Oh, the fighting. In the midst of parenting toddler twins and a five year old,  I also had to cope with  years of painful memories and emotions that had been opened due to the above mentioned crisis. I prayed, I cried and I was basically too discombobulated to admit that I was depressed. 

Second birthday, B crying, V laughing.

Their third year was very similar to the second year. I was still struggling and I was drowning in toddler tantrums and mommy guilt. I walked around in a cloud of guilt believing this lie: I am a bad mother who has difficult children who are difficult because I am a horrible person who hates herself about 75% of the time. Is that a load of crap or what? Either way, it's where I was on the inside much of the time. 

Third birthday, V on right.

I have to say their fourth birthday was a vast improvement over the previous two. The girls definitely wore me out often that year, but I did not feel overwhelmed and snowed under as frequently. I also finally began to work through the mommy guilt that was entrapping me. It's a mercy that the Lord brought me to a better place during that time because we had our first foster son for six months, sold our old house, bought our new house and completely renovated our new house while living with family members or in a one bedroom apartment. Granted, we still struggled. But I began to see the guilt for what it is and see the lies for what they are. 

Fourth birthday

And now my girls are five. Five whole years old. Mothers of toddlers, I have an announcement to make: it gets easier. My girls are still full of energy and often rambunctious, but there has resurfaced this desire to please, a desire to help...or maybe it's a desire to avoid punishment. Either way, this stage is much more calm. I rarely feel overwhelmed which is a true miracle. I spent about two years feeling overwhelmed every single day when dealing with my girls. We all still have our moments, but overall life is more smooth. 

Fifth birthday, B on right. 

When their fifth birthday rolled around, it just didn't seem necessary to throw a party to celebrate the victory of making it five years with my girls. I just wanted the day to be about them. We had a party. It was small. The girls had a blast. I loved every minute. I took them to Purple Cow for dinner while my man kept the boys. Us three girls sat on the same side of the booth. We ate, we talked and we sat as close to one another as humanly possible. I watched them eating their chicken strips and mac and cheese. I smiled at the way they spooned each little bite of applesauce into their mouths. I mostly just loved them. Their birthday this year was not about the immense relief I feel at the thought of getting through these first five years with twins. It was about the fact that I got to do these first five years with them. Every smile, every tear, every middle of the night interruption...I was able to do all that. I am a blessed woman. And, I might even post a few pics of the partay that actually did happen and not the one I planned in my head.